snertgurfle.com

Indeed it is. And then some.

The delay in going forward with my new craft room is an event I created. My Architect was in the process of doing what he does best — design — when it occurred to me that if he finished his part, I would hot-foot it down to the city to get the permit. Once that was accomplished, Bill The Contractor would begin work.

After he’s done with the craft room, I want him to remodel my office. The one in which I sit every day of the week - all seven days of the week - and not just work at my ‘real’ job but teach an online class, too.

Obviously, the office needs to have all contents removed before anything can be done in it. Just the thought of dragging the computers, their peripherals, the UPS units, a million miles of cabling and all my files to where, the kitchen table? sounded just all too bothersome. Sure, it has to happen but not during a class session.

I halted the process until the online classes are on break for the summer and, hopefully, work will slow down some, although the prospect of the latter occurring doesn’t seem to approach reality at this time. I’m trying to retire here, people! Snert.

After having had this blog going for just short of four years now, the opportunity has arisen to learn how to blog. Whoa - what a concept!

Beginning with this session, LVS is offering a course in Blogging, aptly named Blogging for Fun, Fame, and Fortune. I’m not after fame and fortune but the fun part struck my fancy.

The minute Lesson 1 was activated, I downloaded it, read it, and found out that something I’ve done in another post is considered “bad form”. If I were a betting woman, I would put down cold, hard cash there will be more of those to come. Rolling eyes.

This is not the blog I’ll maintain for the course but rather I want to go through the process of installing WordPress from scratch under a different URI, mostly because I’ve owned domain names I’ve never used and this will give me an opportunity to get my annual fee’s worth. Plus, it’ll be just darned good practice.

A special thank you to Bean Fairbanks, the instructor, for taking the time to author and teach the lessons. Knowing a subject is one thing; to effectively convey the process via the written word is entirely different. I look forward to implementing her valuable techniques.

Today is a good day in Phoenix. Well, interesting, yummy and hopeful anyway.

Under the interesting category:

Last night [Monday, 21APR08] around 8p, another incident of the “Phoenix Lights” was observed in the northern sky.

Four red lights in a sequence resembling the shape of a square, eventually becoming triangular, were observed north of the Deer Valley Airport. The lights, moving toward the east and disappearing one by one, and were visible for about 13 minutes.

The Deer Valley airport officials said that the lights were not from any aircraft taking off from or landing at that airport; the Federal Aviation Administration stated air traffic controllers at Sky Harbor Airport reported witnessing the lights; and Luke Air Force Base reported none of its aircraft in that area. A number of civilians also reported, and photographed, the lights.

This incident is similar to what has become known at “the Phoenix Lights” seen on 13MAR97 where thousands of residents reported seeing a mile-wide, v-shaped formation of lights over the Valley. In that case, the lights appeared about 7:30p and lasted until 10:30p.

At that time, the Lights were dismissed as weather balloons, flares, or an optical phenomenon. This “illusion” was noted in two U.S. States [southern Nevada and Arizona, spanning from the northern to the southern borders] and the Mexican state of Sonora.

With regard to the recent incident, officials aren’t disclaiming the lights but rather stated they don’t know the cause. Oh, I know the cause and The Truth Is Out There.

Under the yummy category:

Krispy Kreme Donuts returns to the Valley of the Sun on 13MAY08.

In 2006, all local franchise stores, owned by the same individual, filed for bankruptcy and closed its stores in the Metro Phoenix area giving no prior notice to its customers or employees. It was a very sad day.

Since then, only the memory of the sweet, melt-in-your-mouth deliciousness of a Krispy Kreme Donut lingered in the hearts, souls, and tummies of the locals. But that’s over now!

So far, the only location selected for the Winston-Salem, N.C. purveyor of about the best food on Planet Earth is in the far east Valley, specifically, Mesa. The franchisee plans, eventually, to open 15 to 20 stores Valley-wide. If anyone cares for specific locations on the west side of town, feel free to contact me.

Under the hopeful category:
The Good, The Bad, & The [possibly] Ugly

The good: HB2807, having passed the Senate vote of 20-9 on Monday, 21APR08, would require city and county police agencies address federal immigration violations by training its officers and by placing federal immigration agents [ICE] within the units.

The training allows police officers to make immigration arrests while carrying out their regular duties. It also allows jail officers to speed up the deportations of criminal immigrants after they complete sentences on state violations, thus reducing local corrections costs and getting them in the hands of federal authorities quicker.

Additionally, the bill would prohibit county and city governments from having policies that prevent or restrict them from receiving or exchanging information regarding immigration status in certain instances.

Currently, there are relatively few police agencies in Arizona that have sought the special training required in order to enforcement federal immigration law. One of the biggest proponents of rounding up, detaining, and deporting illegal aliens is Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Few people in the U.S. have not heard of Sheriff Joe. Yes, he’s a media hound and the subject of a great deal of criticism, but, and most importantly, he is the only elected official doing something about the catastrophic problem of illegals we have in this state.

The bad: the next step to enacting this bill would be to have Governor Janet “Illegal Immigration is the Fed’s Problem” Napolitano sign it. Governor Napolitano has repeatedly and consistently disregarded concerns voiced by the citizens of this state — “citizens” being the operative word here — to the extent, concerns have now turned to open dissension.

The State of Arizona is operating under a significant budget deficit. The negative impact would be greatly reduced were we not obligated to support an estimated half a million illegals. But, instead of addressing a number of issues to resolve this dilemma, the governor is focused on her goal of higher political aspirations by traveling to other states supporting Democratic Presidential Candidate Barrack Obama. Can you say U.S. Attorney General?

Meanwhile, Phoenix City Mayor Phil “I’m Doing Everything in My Power to Make Phoenix a Sanctuary City” Gordon and his right-hand puppet, Chief of Police Jack “It’s Not My Job to Enforce Immigration Issues” Harris, fully support the governor’s continued efforts to cede Arizona back to Mexico.

The ugly: if this bill is not signed by the governor, Arizona’s top elected official has once again loudly proclaimed that the best interest of this state’s citizens is not a priority, thus giving way to further diligent, determined, and divisive hostile take-over by a foreign country.

Whether today is a great day or merely a good day remains to be seen. I have no control over some events that impact my life; with regard to those circumstances that I do, however, I’m off and running and taking charge. I’m just sayin’…

Amended 30APR08: As a follow up to “The ugly:”, the governor, yesterday, signed 45 bills into law, a couple of which were relaxed rules on cage-fighting events and one that creates a new Arizona Highways license plate - boy, I was losing sleep over that last one possibly not going through!

What she didn’t approve, however, was [drum roll, please] the one on local immigration enforcement because it would “cost too much to enforce”.

If someone with a calculator and a clear, unbiased head on their shoulders could tell me the differential in cost impact between what I’m forced to ‘donate’ in order to support the social services, the education, the health care, and all the other “free” programs currently directed to illegals in this state as opposed to the cost of training individuals in the police force, along with staffing for federal agents within those forces, who would then have the capability of eliminating much of the illegal population, that would be just swell. If I’m incorrect in my assessment of the situation, I will duly back off. However, I seriously doubt I am.

There are times I hate it when I’m right; this is another one of those times.

I’m just sayin’…

I made a “prototype” table centerpiece last year and it turned out pretty well. So, I decided to make another one as a birthday present, which was less of a ‘project’ and more of a venture from the heart.

Let’s be honest here, ALL first-time craft projects are pretty much “drafts”. You can envision the end product in your mind’s eye, you can design it from an intellectual perspective, you can even make countless practice runs, but until you have actually fabricated that piece in its entirety, it remains a work in progress.

Once you’ve worked with it, you have experienced the design flaws, taken notes, restarted a number of times and finally finishing the project, then, and only then, are you in a position to create the perfect piece you originally thought it would be.

This was one of those efforts.

The only difficult part was getting the recipient to let loose with her house’s color scheme. Never did get there from here, doncha know. I knew she was into the retro look but there are many colors associated with retro, all of which Red Heart, my yarn manufacturer of choice, makes. Sadly, the local craft store where I purchase most of my threads and yarns doesn’t stock but a handful of those colors. Not to mention, putting some of those combinations together caused me some significant grief.

Not being a ‘bright color’ person, I had great difficulty “envisioning” the outcome. I tried combinations of reds, greens, blues, yellows, oranges, and other colors typically associated with the retro look. Each combination looked like the result of a tragic freeway accident before emergency personnel arrived.

Back to the craft store to see what else they had. Ahhhh, pastels! Now there’s something I could work, wouldn’t look all too horrible and still fits the criteria. Sort of.

I was hard pressed to get this project completed. It seems ’somebody’, in developing her part in a 3-part series of web coding classes, had a direct impact on MY part of that same 3-part series of web coding classes thus causing me to reinvent my wheel so the 3-legged wagon would roll smoothly down a bumpy road. Another story - another blog entry. Just let it be known, the crochet endeavor WOULD have been done in time for her birthday had it not been for me having been diverted. So, it’s all her fault.

Then there was the great ‘find a box to ship it in’ fiasco. I’ll let that go for the moment; it’s not relevant to this entry but is pretty funny. In retrospect. As are many things. Far too many things. Sigh.

Enjoy it, Becky! :>

I got the urge to try my hand at crochet again, after many years of doing nothing along these lines.

It turns out my memory is worse than I’d imagined. After searching around for the “Crochet 101 for the Completely Inept” book, I started at Page 1. Actually, I should have begun at the Introduction but I’m an over-achiever.

Now, had I found a pattern, this project would have been MUCH easier to make. I did find one on-line and started to use it but there were so many burps in the directions, I tossed it out and just made it up as I went. Hmmmm… I wonder if that could have been part of the problem.

Before my memory turns off again, and it may be too late, I need to run off and write down what I did just in case I ever want to make this project again.

As a side note, and this is a pathetic testimonial as to the amount of craft supplies I have in this house, but I had the exact yarn colors recommended in the pattern I threw away and from the same manufacturer, no less. Yeah, WAY too much crafting stuff around here.

I feel a new room to put in all in coming on. Oh, Contractor Bill! :>

I’ve been saying for some time now, that Contractors, on the whole, are just not getting a whole lot smarter. As a matter of fact, most of the ones I deal with on a regular basis are setting a new standard for stupid with an IQ that is rapidly dropping into the negative values.

I made a comment today that returned a response I would not have expected. And my expectations are already pretty low. This is such a small thing but it told me so much. Frankly, more than I cared to know.

In speaking with a Contractor this morning, we were discussing the possibility of me doing an inspection on his project later today. During the course of that conversation while specifically deciding upon the time, he made the statement that it looked as though it was going to rain.

Since weather conditions in this area of the country typically aren’t so severe they deter me from performing an inspection and I couldn’t produce a cognitive association between time and weather, I wasn’t sure what his point of providing me with a meteorological evaluation was, so all I could think to say was, “Oh, that’s fine. My truck is NEMA 4 rated”. Dead silence followed by, “huh?”.

Now, to non-construction folks, the term “NEMA 4 rating” has little, if any, meaning. So, allow me to edumakate you. In a nutshell, a device that is NEMA [National Electric Manufacturers Association] 4 rated has an enclosure specifically constructed for either indoor or outdoor use, providing protection against contact with the enclosed equipment or device as well as protecting the device from dust, dirt, water, ice, and the like. If you have a duplex outlet on the outside of your house, that cover, along with the box and seal / gasket, is a NEMA 4 rated device. No building, commercial or residential, has been constructed since the mid-70s without at least one NEMA 4 rated piece of equipment or device.

Got it? Well, congratulations. You are now smarter than a Contractor who is in charge of building a $2.3 million commercial project.

This guy may turn out to be brilliant in some aspects of construction industry standards but when it comes to simple electrical terms, perhaps just one more night course at the local community college would be in order.

I’m just sayin’…

I spent the most delightful hour and a half at the Needlers Nest yesterday afternoon delving into learning how to embroider using the Russian Punchneedle method.

What’s the difference between “Russian Punchneedle” and every day punch needle? Well, for one thing, the former sounds foreign, thus giving the craft technique a level of intrigue and, by misspelling ‘punch needle’, one is given to the illusion there is something really special about it - kind of hoity-toity.

In reality, it’s called that because the Russians introduced it to America. Well, that explanation was certainly a let down, wasn’t it? The fact of the matter is, embroidery can be traced back to the ancient Egyptians, as opposed to the young Egyptians.

Basically, the technique involves punching thread through a tightly woven fabric using a hollow needle through which the thread is drawn. The loops then form on the opposite side of the piece, which explains why you see beginners punch a thread, turn the hoop over; punch a thread, turn the hoop over. It’s magic! That, and beginners are quite easily amused.

The class was very small, which I like. If I’m going to be embarrassed by my ineptitude, I prefer to do it in front of as few people as possible. Five folks signed up, one of which owns the shop and is the most delightful woman with a great sense of humor and easy manner; another who works at the shop, also delightful, as is everyone who works there; one lady who didn’t show up; a woman who, by best guess, has done this before as she was whipping along at breakneck speed; and then there was me. That combination is enough to make any instructor want to just give the fee back and walk away. Instead, Cathy patiently worked with us for what was about the fastest 90 minutes of the entire week.

The instructor gave us a simple pattern, a heart with some whoop-dee-doo around it, brought the materials needed to transfer to it the cloth, and a handout. Folks love handouts. There is something in the human brain that says, “If I have papers to take home, it was worth the price”. I don’t know why that is but it seems to hold true regardless of the format.

The shop pre-ordered components to make a kit comprised of the needle, yarn, a thread puller [a device invisible to the naked eye], a hoop, and a scrap of fabric just large enough to fit in the hoop. The kit concept is a good one; it removes stress from the student’s side of the equation by eliminating the panic involved with selecting a color scheme, the right fabric, and, generally, acquiring the right stuff. At the same time, the instructor is confident that, by being handed exactly what’s needed, each of us will be starting out with what we should have instead of going off in various directions. Anyone who has taught any class is well aware of how off-track students can become when left to their own devices. Even if you give them what they need, the road becomes quickly rutted.

I must say, my efforts are being rewarded with pretty decent results. So far.

To assuage student’s trepidation, the instructor kept repeating that the pattern was “rustic”. I think that was her way of reinforcing that the end product can look like crap and that’s how it was intended. I think I’ll employ that concept in other areas of my life.

Although having done some punch needle work, I’ve had good success with the battery / electric punch needle machine sold by Easy Punch. This little piece of equipment is kind of a no-brainer to operate; insert thread, keep the punch against the fabric, push the button, move it forward - there ya go. A ‘real’ punch needle requires some manual dexterity. It also requires the right fabric. And therein lies, what I believe to have been, my problem. In part. Nobody ever said you had to use weaver’s cloth, which is a tightly woven fabric. With the machine, any fabric and any thread will work; that’s part of their sales pitch. Not so with an embroidery needle. The machine is substantially faster than the punch needle but on the noisy side, prohibiting its use in hospital rooms, libraries, and church. Not that I would work on a craft project in church no matter how often the thought has crossed my mind. But if I did, tatting would be my choice as it’s literally silent. Hmmmm.

Anyway, I have a new craft to entertain me for a while. The second part of the class is next Wednesday and since the shop people have the opportunity to work on craft projects during the day and that over-achiever woman will, no doubt, have not only the heart project completed but will have done 6 others including a full-size wall hanging, I need to get my little “rustic” heart finished and start another project.

I’ll let you know how it goes…

There has been a joke about this going around the Internet for years now about why it takes so long to perform a simple task. It has recently come to my attention this scenario is not as funny as it is true. How come, what should be a simple two-step process of taking out the trash, leads to an all day, 41-step deal?

Here’s how it ought to go:

1. Remove trash bag from indoor canister
2. Put in outdoor canister

Here’s what really happens:

1. Pass by trash can and realize it’s pretty full
2. Start to pull plastic bag from container and remember there’s trash in the office that needs to go out, too
3. Walk to office
4. Hear incoming email notification
5. Glance at computer to see who the sender is
6. Open message to read
7. See a link you have to follow, which leads to other links taking 2 hours to peruse
8. Remember you’ve not checked your bank statement in a while
9. Launch on-line bank account to find a withdrawal you don’t remember
10. Walk to living room, retrieve purse, and dig around only to find receipts dating back at least a month
11. While close to the kitchen, grab soda from fridge
12. With dozens of receipts in hand, this is a good time to record them in your checkbook
13. Walk to back door to let the dogs out
14. Walk back to office
15. Half way through recording these receipts, you remember there are clothes in the dryer
16. Walk to the laundry room to find those clothes were the permanent press load
17. Remove deeply creased clothes from dryer and return to washer
18. Walk back to office where there are more emails
19. Walk to back door to let the dogs in
20. Walk to office
21. Read and respond to new emails
22. Finish recording receipts in checkbook, except for the one in your on-line bank statement that you don’t remember
23. Go through emails looking for a memory-jogger about an on-line order
24. Remember clothes in washing machine
25. Walk to laundry room; see final cycle has about 6 minutes left
26. Grab snack from fridge
27. Walk to office, resuming hunt for elusive bank account withdrawal
28. Answer telephone and talk to caller for an hour
29. Remember permanent press clothes in the washer
30. Walk to laundry room to find clothes partially air dried but throw into dryer anyway
31. Walk to back door to let the dogs out
32. Check on-line news services, reading multiple articles
33. Walk to back door to let the dogs in
34. Glance at the clock to see it’s time to fix dinner
35. Throw some food together and eat it in front of the TV
36. Doze off during prime time, awaking to find it’s time for bed
37. Walk to back door to let the dogs out
38. Get coffee ready for the morning and clean up kitchen
39. Walk to bathroom, brush teeth and change into jammies
40. Walk to back door to let the dogs in
41. Turn off lights, secure doors and windows, go to bed

Bottom line: not only was the trash never taken out but now there is an entire washer full of clothes that require professional attention. On the up side, there has been some minimal effort exerted into an otherwise exercise-less day.

Maybe that’s just how life is for this single, works out of the house, semi-retired girl, I don’t know. I’m just sayin’…

The last time I was in the Needlers Nest spending far too much for supplies I don’t need, I saw one of the many displays they have in which the product was done using punch needle.

Punch needle has been around since the beginning of time and is a craft that, yet again, I’ve dabbled in but has never really grabbed my heart. I’ve produced a few decent pieces but nothing to write home about. Then again, one fairly good piece I made as a gift for an elderly lady residing in an assisted-living care facility was stolen from her room while she was at lunch. Now, aside from the fact that I hope that low-life burns in hell for what they did, the piece must have been good enough to steal. So, maybe I have an untapped talent.

On or about the 23rd of January every year, an Arts & Crafts “traveling fair” comes to the Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Phoenix and, every year, I go. Of course. This dog and pony show takes up building after building, with vendors and patrons spilling out into the parking lots. And I’m here to tell you, every crafter who has access to a car, van, or bus attends. It’s pretty scary how many of us there are when the gates open Thursday morning. I often wonder how many of those folks called in sick to work that day just to get that discounted entry price and be one of the first to roam the displays and demonstrations.

This event omits nothing a serious crafter could want or need from high-end sewing machines that do everything short of picking out fabric to paint brushes, from quilting supplies to professional grade quilting machines, and from a little group of ladies who work with all forms of lace making to products that remove scuff marks from wood floors.

During one such adventure, I watched a guy, for the third year in a row, using a battery / electric powered punch needle. Now, I’d avoided actually shelling out the $60 for this little ditty right up until January of 2007 when I succumbed to owning something not already in my stash.

The product is sold by Easy Punch and, here’s what sold me on finally buying it — you can use ANY thread with it. Not just special embroidery thread but ANY thread. Lame, right? Hey - any excuse will do when you really want something but can’t justify owning it. That’s my credo…. Now, go away and let me live in my own little world.

I also own a set of what embroidery enthusiasts refer to as ‘real’ punch needles. I can’t use them for squat but I own them. I keep going back to the Easy Punch because it’s, well, EASY!

Anyway, as someone who can’t stand not being able to overcome having a crafting handicap, when I saw Needlers Nest had a class in punch needle, I had my credit card out so fast, all anyone saw was a blur between my purse and their debit machine.

Now, as much as I could probably teach myself to hand embroider to what would be considered a reasonable skill level, the other thing this course will provide is finishing techniques. This part is what eludes me to some extent. I’ve done it; just not with I think are really professional results. Sure, like being a professional embroidery finisher is on my Top Ten List of Accomplishments. Again, it’s my little world of deceit — let me along.

There are two sessions for this class: one on 07NOV07, the other on 14NOV07 between the hours of 1300 and 1430. For those 3 hours of instruction, I’ve handed over $32. In addition to that, there will be the cost of the kit, which I think is a good thing to provide as it will contain yet another set of punch needles I can add to my collection along with the supplies required for the class. Anything that’s a no-brainer works for me and lowers my stress level with regard to getting the “right” stuff.

I’m working very hard here to not make a comparison between this 3 hours of instructional time at approximately ten bucks an hour per student to teaching an on-line course for $13 a student for God-knows how many hours. Wow, good thing I avoided making any relative comparisons as having done so would just be tacky.

At some point in 2005, I was cruising through one of the local JoAnn stores when I saw they offered arts and craft classes. One such class was watercolor painting. Now there’s something I’d dabbled in but never became all that proficient. There are some things, you just can’t learn well by reading a book.

During the course of taking the watercolor painting class, I met a lot of the store’s staff. One such person was in charge of coordinating the arts and crafts classes. Her title was, ironically, Class Coordinator. Very clever of those JoAnn folks.

Being unable to recall the sequence of events that lead to the Coordinator asking me if I’d be interested in teaching tatting classes - the 60s were harder on me than even I thought- again, this sounded like a fun idea. I really do need to rethink anything that sounds like a “fun idea”.

I taught tatting classes there for a few years and met a lot of really nice people, not only in the form of students but staff as well as customers. Plus, I got a 10% discount on any product purchased in any of their stores. I liked to wore that discount card plumb out.

JoAnn’s changed coordinators a number of times in less than two years. That sort of movement usually indicates there is either something going on at the top level or employees just aren’t happy with the store. Turns out, it was both.

Even though instructors are independent contractors, that sort of thing affects their performance and outlook as much as it does store personnel. My days of tatting instruction came to a screeching halt shortly after the last coordinator turn-over, as it did for most of their instructors.

Fast forward about a year and a half later and I get a call from from the store’s coordinator asking if I’d come back and teach tatting again. Like a complete idiot, I said, “Oh, sure”. And it wasn’t the pay, as is typical of places that teach non-technical type programs, but rather there is a certain sense of enjoyment one gets from sharing skills with others. And don’t forget about that 10% discount card.

Anyway, this time was a real disaster. The new coordinator didn’t have a grip on scheduling, where classes were to be held in the store prior to them beginning, how to set up and market classes, and was derelict in communicating. Three days before the second session I was scheduled to hold a class, I called to see how many students were registered. When you teach a class that uses handouts, you want to make sure you have enough to go around. I was told no one had signed up. Frankly, I was good with that number.

The day of the class - actually one hour before class was to start - I get a call from the coordinator telling me there would be 5 people attending and confirming I’d be there. HUH? Let’s see, registration had been closed for 2 weeks, I was told three days earlier no students signed up, and never had there been a confirming phone call. Gee, could it be that the Coordinator messed up yet again? Fine. Just FINE! I almost got wet running through the shower and drove well over the speed limit to get there in time.

Now, had this been a unique event, I could have gotten passed it. However, this happened the next time a class was scheduled, too. You know what? I don’t need this level of frustration for something that ought to be fun.

Along with all this commotion, tatting supplies, along with other crafting supplies, were dwindling from shelves, a great deal of promotion was being given to the sewing and cake decorating classes with relatively none to the rest of the classes, and pay checks were not coming with anything resembling promptness. With these triggers, it seemed the future of general purpose crafting classes wasn’t looking all that solid.

One day while in the store, I sought out the Coordinator and flat out asked her to be honest about what direction the artsy-craftsy classes were taking. She told me that the Powers That Be determined the ‘core class curriculum’ [these are craft classes, people!] would be boosted with peripheral classes eliminated. Let me guess: the sale of a few thousand dollars toward Wilton cake decorating supplies and a couple of $7,000 Viking sewing machines was more profitable than five bucks worth of tatting thread and shuttles. I hate it when I’m right.

After what was to be my last scheduled class, I went into the Coordinator’s office to drop off the roster only to find my demonstration display having been taken down from the front of the store and was sitting on one of the tables. No note, no personal good-bye, just my stuff unceremoniously removed from the in-store display area and dumped in the back room. There’s a term for that; it’s called chicken s**t.

On my way out, I noticed most of the general crafting displays had been removed. Still, that’s no way to treat people.

As a side note, they’ve since called again to ask if I’d consider teaching tatting. WA HA HA HA HA. Yeah, I don’t think so.